I really think you should take the promotion.  I think it was a blessing from God not the opposite.  You have financial problems right?  and you have been praying for your finances... I think he answered that prayer as a yes simply because you can't be a stay at home mom and have good finances, especially in this world. (unless your husband has a GOOD GOOD job.) 

Jen

If you're truly struggling with money, and as a result are stressed about it, that could seep into your time with her.  It's better to have quality time than a lot of time where other things are on your mind.  However, if you're not, it may be the better option for you to live meagerly and have a lot of time with her.

Would it make you feel better to spend a lot of time with your daughter but know that she may not have some of the things you would like to be able to give her?  Or to know that at the end of the day you can give her everything you'd like and only have a few hours of time with her per weekday?

You should really follow your gut on this one.  I've always thought that's just God guiding me toward the right path for me.

P.S.  Congratulations on the offer!!!  No matter what you choose, you should be really proud of yourself for building such a great reputation at work.

Wendy, I would love to just give you a great big hug.  I have had my share of doubting god, angry at god, even denying there even was a god at one horrible angry and bitter time in my life, so I know the struggle in some sense...not the same as your situations of course but you know.  I've just gotten to a place recently where I've started praying more again, because for a while I was so unforgiving of others it strained my relationship.  Maybe this is a way for you to make more money now so that later on, you can work part time?  It seems that way to me.  Although I've read how hard it was for you to go back to work in the first place.  My feeling though is that you should take the promotion.  Whatever you decide dear Wendy I am here for you and I support you.  I pray that you will find that peace in this situation and that you will know for sure what to do.

~Tons of love 

Now I am biased as I think MY girls were the most beautiful, but I must say she is one of the most precious babies I have ever seen,,,, she truly does radiate beauty....She is simply too cute!!!

Thank you for sharing her with us....

Have a GREAT night Wendy....

Much love and many HUggs being sent your way...

Janica

awww. whata  cutie.. my favorite... ALL OF THEM!!  

 hang in there w. david..

God knew I needed her in my life and he could not have chosen a better soul to bless my life with

 i felt the  same.. even though you had a worse pregnancy then i (and lots of others, unfortuniteyl)did , i now he knew exactly what He was sending to me.. i needed this 'lift too''  Enjoy every moment, it goes so fats sweetheart .

   keep positive wendy , and God Bless.. thnx so much for shaing all the photos w. us. :) just beautiful. You did a GREAT job!!  :)   (being prego & delivering a true beauty!!)

Aww, she's incredibly beautiful and adorable :)  I think my favorite is the second picture, that and your dads fav.

~Tons of love

OMGosh she's sooooooo adorable

i love her eyes. the pic that is your fathers favorite is mine too. i love the lil pic of her lil feet their so tiny she has some gorgeous eyes. shes deff a natural at taking pics already

about that tongue my lil cousin use to suck her tongue all the time i remember my aunt and uncle assuring me she would outgrow it. needless to say shes 17 and right before she goes to sleep that tongue still is out lol but hey thats her thing

you and david sure made a beautiful lil girl

Aw thank you Wendy :)  Your comment made me smile.  It's nice to know that someone else understands and can relate, although I wish for the both of us we didn't have to deal or have dealt with such things.  Yes, a good cry every once and a while is much needed!  I'm glad you had a nice trip and I'm hoping things with you and David are better.  I'm also glad your daddy has his own computer now, 30 days was much too long to go without some 'commonsense'!  Well, once again thank you so much for your kind words.

~Tons of love

do you have any idea how much i've missed "anything" from your family?

i suppose not...lol.

so glad you are back!!

Glad you had a good time!  Take care,

- Chris

glad ya had a nice time away..its alwayz nice to get away ..even if its a lil time. :)

[fromthisdayfwd]

Hey Wendy, you haven't updated in a while so I'm just passing through and wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts and prayers.  I don't really know what to say about him and his actions, but I think others have said it all!  I hope everything is getting better though.  Also, I hope your dad gets a computer soon a month is way too long!!  *Hugs*

~Tons of love

Oh my goodness.... Id say David should see someone about his fears... Maybe you need to go a night or two to your folks for like  a 2 hour visit and leave her with him during that time so he can come to trust in himslef and his abilities,,,, Go out and pamper your self somehow and leave baby Raeanna with him... Hes got to learn sometime, no time like the present... Maybe hes a bit more nervous with her because she is a tiny fragile girl... I know my first husband (the girls father0 was terrified of Trin when she was firts born (he did not get to meet STeph till she was 8 months old coz he was away in the army and could not get time away), but he was afraid he would break her, or hurt her some how... and thats what I had to do was just tell him I was leaving and going to be back in 2 hours, and Id make sure baby was fed before I left and away Id go....I would not call to check in to see how things were going mind you he was there with a new born and a 2 yr old).... I just left it up to him... and everytime I came home they were both just fine and I reassured him that he WAS Doing it and COULD do it...

Just a thought,,,,,

Hope things get better.. I will be praying over the matter and over your marriage...

Love HUggs and prayers...

Janica

P.S. Please give your father a Hello for me...thanks...

I'm not a mother but it really irritates me when people say you can spoil a baby (or small child) and that they need to learn independence. When exactly do kids get to be kids?? How can you love a baby too much? It's ridiculous.

I think maybe some intervention from your parents might help. I haven't read anything about David's dad, but your dad is rock solid. Perhaps a man to man conversation could help your husband understand how to be a better husband and father.

He's crazy!!!

wat if...??

okay just wow,who accually thinks about that?

I can see why you would be frustrated.  You have to deal with all of these same things on a daily basis and you figured it out on your own.  I don't have children, so I don't know, but I feel like my husband is unwilling to figure things out for himself too.  Even if he's doing the simplest of tasks and he knows I already know how to do them, he will not leave me alone for two seconds until I walk him through step by step how to do it.  Even just finding the MILK in the refrigerator.

I would just tell him he doesn't have a choice.  He seems really insecure anyway, if he's taking certain comments as being mean instead of jokes, he must honestly believe those things about himself.  I'm sorry I've never been there and have no advice, but I DEFINITELY agree that you are NOT over handling your daughter.  She's too young and dependent to be overhandled!!!

i am completely echoing nics comment here. 

when ja was born, juan was the last person to hold her.  he just kept telling everyone, "go ahead, you hold her".  he was scared.  and even after he held her, he wouldn't move.  he'd stay still, so as not to "tip" anything.  i went back to work when she was six weeks old too, and he admitted he was scared.  he was master of diaper changes, and rocking her in his arms, and i'd already taught him how to heat breast milk the right way, and we'd gotten her used to the nipple of a bottle so that she'd eat for him.  he knew the basics, and i knew he loved her madly.  but when it came down to being alone with her all day, he felt scared.

he called me a million times that first week.  but to alot of questions, i'd ask, "what do YOU think?" to see if his instinct was there, and he just wasn't sure to trust it or not yet.  he was ususally right, and when he wasn't, i corrected carefully because i wanted him to feel confident with her.

it all worked out, and it just took time, like EVERYTHING does.  but i agree with nic...pulling away isn't the answer.  distance between you is never the answer for what's best for the baby or you two as a couple.  patience, a profound level of understanding, and time....and you will see, that it will be okay. 

When you have the "urge" to cut, how do you not? I am really struggling right now and don't know how to not do it.

at first, when i read the first part of your entry, before you explained what was going on, i thought maybe it was postpartum.  only because i went through an incredibly rough patch with my husband after childbirth and it lasted 6 months, and i was seriously to the point of divorce, but this, is definately not that.

was he drinking or something last night?  a brain aneurism?  and in that condition he's worried about exposing her to gas fumes????  i don't get it.  how in God's name, of all the problems children come down with, does he come up with brain aneurism? 

alright, here's the only advice i got.  whether or not it works, is something entirely different.  don't put down his psycho babble.  maybe he just needs to get it out.  maybe it just needs to be said for him to realize how absolutely ridiculous it is.  just explain to him how much she needs to bond with him and how his day off will be the perfect opportunity for them to bond together without anyone else around.  remind him how much fun she's going to be when she's walking...and talking...and if he works hard enough with her on his days off, he may be the first and only one to hear first words (though i hope not for your benefit).  it's a learning experience.  for the baby, and for parent's.  he should embrace it, because before you know it, she'll be a teenager and won't want anything to do with you.

This sounds very frustrating for you. Not only with the responsibility of bringing a little life into the world , but going back to work to balance those books and needing to rely on David to fill in the blanks. I know he sounds really vexing to you right now, but the way you've written it, he sounds really terrified. Before you went back to work did he "do" those routines for the day or watch you do them? I just wondered, maybe he feels inept to run the day from start to finish. Perhaps there might be some kind of compromise you can reach? Now that you are actually working again, could he hang out with your Mom under her "watchful eye" on his day off, for him to do it and her to give him some confidence that he's doing it "right"?

Actually , you are right, it does sound as though he is suffering from a bit of "culture shock"/depression. New babies can be a bit of a sudden entrance to fathers, even though you might think you've had nine months (or just under) to prepare for the whole business, I guess for a guy it's a bit different. When there's just been the two of you, either for ages, or just the short time you have been married to become accusomed to life with each other and then comes the baby, it can be pretty tough on both of you. You are probably both a bit tired and a bit strung out, with a lot of responsibility and quite a bit of stress. You are doing the best thing you can do by talking it out. We women tend to have some instinctive behaviours towards babies even if they don't individually come with a tailor-made manual. It can be really overwhelming for some men.

I don't know what else to tell you really, maybe your Mom and Dad can help you to find some way of helping David come to terms with his new role as father. I know you are having some struggles, I know it's a bit predictable and cliche to say "it gets easier", but it will, Wendy, just like pregnancy eventually came to an end, if you work together you can get past this rough patch. If you draw away from him it may just make it harder and reinforce the fear that everything is different now. xx

ps: re your comment, you are very welcome. It was a pleasure

My dear Wendy;

Uh! Men! Most of them are like this. (What not all, of course) I wonder about this all the time with my ex-hubby too. He had Sat & Sun to take care of the girls, but he refuses saying that I am over react over such thing. He said, "I work 5 days every week and earning money while you wipe the ass of the kids. You can sit to watch TV whenever you want and sleep your ass whenever you want. I, on the other hand, must work 12 hours a day every day and sometimes more than 12 hours. Sat & Sun are the days when I want to relax and keep my head cool from the stress that is coming on Monday. It is your job to take care of the kids. That's what you women do, right? You are a mother. And I am the father. I earn money and you manage the household. Give me time to relax, wife!"

Oh yes! That's the battle that has been going on between me and the girls's father for years before I finally got divorced from him. It was never easy and I was so young to understand of how to cope with such situation either. I learned that in short years to understand how I can cope the mind of a man. It was never easy, Wendy. It makes you really angry. I understand your situation very good.

Well, about David saying that sometimes you must let your baby cry till she sleeps ... I don't agree with it at all. I did try that with Mike, but it makes him a very angry child later. Mike does not understand why he always seems so angry but he was being trained to be crying all the time till he sleeps. I did regret that just because my Andrew also told me the same thing. I reacted the same as you when my children cries in the night. You never know what is there with the child in the other room. Probably choking, got high fever or anything, you know. I never let my child alone since then. Many experiences taught me this. So, whenever I heard any baby crying I must go and check to make sure nothing is bad happening.

But there are times when you noticed that the child is reacting that way too many times because she wanted Mommy just to come, then you must put a barrier of discipline that she should learn not to be like that. Because later when she grows, she would be a child that is almost bothering you all the time and spoilt. Always wanted Mommy all the time and not being independent. You will learn this in time about your child behaviour. Sometimes what has been written in the books are not 100% right. Some of these so-called experts are so-called doing experimental thing on people. Sounds so pervent, you know. And we, the normal people out there who are reading those books, thinks always "Ahah!" But it is never really that 100% right, honey.

In time you will learn to know Raenna and her behaviour. If you recognised that she is playing with you, then you should put a discipline with her just the same when you train her to sleep only at night time and not on day time. This will of course takes time for you to do, but you must be very patient about it.

I wish you well and many lucks, my dear. So, hugs!!!!

Sherry

RYN: Thank you for sharing that with me. I REALLY like your attitude about it. I wish I was more like that.... I just have to work on it. I'm sure it'll just take time and I'll probably get over it and not care so much what others think of me and my scars anymore. I can see it happening sometimes... like when I go outside to sit on the porch I'll push my sleeves up and not really think about it. Again, thanks. TTYL,

- Chris

WOW! That's amazing! 1 year IS a LONG time! I know how hard it is... I definitely admire you for this. Last time I got stiches was Jul 18th. I'm trying hard to stop too. I completely understand how hard and tempting it truely IS. It IS an addiction. I'm very PROUD of you! And I'm happy for you. It's great you decided to stop on your own even if it was to not get blood stains on your dress. I hope you can keep it up. Maybe you'll be back here next year saying.... "It's been 2 years since I took a blade to myself..." Very cool. Can I ask you one thing? You don't have to answer me if you don't want, I'll understand. Do you care when people see your scars? Me, I wear long-sleeve shirts ALWAYS, winter, summer, whenever cause I'm embarrassed. I was curious if you cared what others think. Well, I'll stop rambling now. TTYL. Take care,

- Chris

(((((((((((((((((((((Wendy))))))))))))))) YAY YAY YAY You! YAY God! This is such GREAT NEWS! I am so very happy and proud of you and hope that you are proud of yourself! It isn't easy- but you ARE doing it!

  Much Love and Many smiles,

          Jewel

Congrats for making it a year!

Wendy,

I applaude you for youre outstanding accomplishment... I am so proud of you, its been a rough haul for you this I know... but between yoou, the Lord, your loving family and your friends youve done it... Keep it up... Now you have a new reason to not want to cut... your desire for your daughter to not ever have to know that part of life....

Congratulations... I love you....
Many prayers of thanksgiving are going to the Lord on your behalf today...

Love, Huggs and Prayers....

Janica

I will keep u updated.

but he's not going 2 give me a bunch of stufdf about god...iz he?

Im not verry religious.

well done!! its a real accomplishment and you should be proud!!

hopefully the baby will take your mind of ebver self harming again

wb

xx

Oh that's very VERY good. You should be completely proud of yourself!! I'm proud of you; I'm sure it must have been difficult..

Luvs.

Congrats.

Natasha.

[[btw..August 13th to me, is my lil sister's birthday.. lol.. thats how your entry caught my attention. Today means a certain thing to me and a whole other to you. I just thoguht that was sort of cool, and that I would share that with you. :] ]]

Keep going!

congrats.

^_^

I tried but...it didnt work.

=[

Raeanna is SOOOO cute! She has such pretty, big eyes.

So that's the little puppy that likes to EAT your dad! She is also very cute.

Take care,

- Chris

hey thanks for the comment

i looked at the pictures of your cats - they are sooooooo cute :D

yeah monty is 10 years old now but he is really small so he still looks like a kitten lol

how is your family doing??

my mum is pregnant again so im going to be going through the same sort of stuff come september lol

xx

THANK YOU FOR THE NAME OF RAEANNAS DIARY I READ IT AND SHE IS SO UNBELIEVABLY CUTE!!

YOU LOOK REALLY WELL TOO. HOPE BEING A MUM IS ALL YOU HOPED IT WOULD BE

IREAD YOUR DIARY A WHILE AGO AND I UNDERSTAND YOU HAD A DIFFICULT PREGNANCY, SO I HOPE YOU ARE COPING ALL RIGHT NOW =]

AND I AM A CAT PERSON TOO!! DO YOU HAVE ANY CATS??

YEAH I AM LUCKY TO HAVE DARK EYELASHES I SUPPOSE LOL

WB

XX

[scaryfairy]

I have been following the progress of your entries and that of your little girl. I hope really that you are getting better with time and for yourself since after the birth. At the begining of these few weeks and months will be hard; but that is normal. We mothers have been through that before - for that we realised how hard it was for our own mother. But I think, that my mother is more far patient that I am. he, he, he ... I hae such temper and my kids know this that they never push my red button too far. LOL

Those pics are really, really cute. I've seen few of Dottie's pics at your dad's journal and he was writing about Dottie always trying to chew on him. What a cute thing. But it is never cute when Dottie really chew on him because it is a bad discipline for that little puppy! Oh, well ... your dad must know how to train her well. It's his baby, you know!

How's Reanne sleeping pattern? Is she making you exhausting most of the time? Or is it getting better? I hope she will not make her Mommy too exhausting. he, he ... So, take care, my dear Wendy. And hoping to see you soon. I've been too busy this week; lots of work. I will write again when I have the time.

Sherry

now i dont even like dogs but even i have to admit that that is one cute puppy!!

and your baby is also adorable !!

btw whats the name of raeannas diary??

wb

xx 

Aww I loved the pics of Raeanna with her eyes open, she has such big beautifull eyes!  And Dottie hehe that puppy is so cute :)  In your other diary the one about Raeanna I read how you were going to be making a scrapbook for her, I think that is such a sweet idea.  I'm sure she will love it when she gets older.  I tried scrapbooking once but I'm not that good at it lol...maybe it's just me and my impatience!  But anyway, I hope you're having a nice weekend :)

~Tons of love

Now I understand why your dad brags so much about your baby girl...she's beautiful!  And Dottie is hands down THE most photogenic puppy...I love her eyes!

Claudia

((((((((((((((Wendy))))))))))) So glad that you are enjoying yoru precious one!

 making the scrapbook is such a wonderful and loving idea! I hope that you enjoy that!

 Congrats on being so close to your pre-pregnancy weight!

   Have a Blessed day!,

         Jewel

Simply Gods creations at His best!!!! What a beautiful daughter you have there Wendy and David...

Wendy, thank you for the loving comment you left in my diary.... it brought me to tears.... Good tears I assure you....And Im glad lotion time is enjoyable for everyone involved....

The jaudice looks much better....I had to do that with Stephanie after she was born, but first they had to have her in the hospital under the lights for 4 days to bring it down to an accecptable level to leave the hospital with, then it was in the sunshine on the floor.... So glad Raeanna didnt have to stay at the hospital....what a blessing!

Hvae a good day...

Know I think of you and your family often and pray for all of you everyday, even your father, mother and brothers....

Love and HUggs....

Janica

Have a peaceful day:

im really glad your little family is happy.

when my mum had my sisters she had back spasms but then she was quite old and it was twins. im sure you will be fine. if not there are lots of things they can do for you like lotions and massages and stuff. i know your lives must be hectic but maybe your husband could give you a massage sometime?? just a suggestion anyway

hope parenthood continues to be a happy time for you..

xx 

i had the same problems with the epidural.  i had tohave it redone 3 times, and then they just gave up and gave me a spinal tap.  i didn't get the back spasms though, so i don't know if it was something you did or something the dr. did.  my dr. that did my epidural was a saint. 

i'm glad you lost that baby weight so quickly.  i put on a lot with my pregnancy, and 2 years later, i'm just getting around to taking it off.   just make sure you take it nice and slow.  especially with that back problem. your body just went through a big ordeal.

omg your baby is flaming beaut mayte!!

as are your cats lol

and you are very pretty also :D

so jealous lol

xx

Poor David!  That would be HORRIBLE!  I hope he gets better really soon, bee stings are PAINFUL, I couldn't even imagine one on my face.

The pictures of the kitties are ADORABLE.  It looks like Chico and Little Bit are holding hands AND feet.  Sometimes when my kitties are looking out the same window together, one will put her arm around the other, and it's sooo adorable.  I love seeing cuddly kitties :D.

Babies that young do change sooo quickly.  My mother in law told me that at this age, they can grow a half inch per day.  You could practically watch it happening.  It's amazing all they go through so young.

beautiful..i went thru some emotiosn this wkdn.. set up the bassinette & high chair that i hoped to have another baby sit in. :(..but

but..

  so thats where i stand w, the baby blues.

 BEAUTIFUL pics wendy. you look great in all of them. 

prayers davids stings go away fats . OUCH.

 God Bless.  Have a beautiful, and blessed wknf.

~christine

[dissapointedwife]

PRay and seek God's direction.

Jen